Marriages have been all the trend and hype in Bollywood recently. With the avalanche of celebrities getting hitched, it got me wondering about just what ‘marriage’ stood for. We’ve been taught ever since we were meeting infants that marriage is an institution that everybody has to believe in and that is perhaps the holy sacrament to better lives. Girls especially are ‘trained’ like soldiers to prepare themselves for the battlefront, i.e., lives after marriage. Why is it that the same ritual has different meanings and completely different repercussions for the two sexes?
This is not a statement aimed at anybody but a general remark based on the observations around myself. For males, marriage is treated more of an option. Their age, their wages and their mindset are considered in their quest for marriage, while for the females around me, marriage has been put on this high pedestal without which their life is incomplete and they wouldn’t really be able to fit in within the norms of the society. A girl is considered fit to receive proposals for marriage the very next day after she turns 18, but for the guy, he is allowed to have a say, and particularly allowed to say no to any offers of the sort until he thinks he is ready for it.
Do not take this as me wanting to bash the system of patriarchy or having a grudge against this institution, it is none of those two. I do not begrudge people who want to get married at an early stage in life, nor do I worship those who think that it’s not the life for them. To each his own. For me, it’s simply a matter that I do not understand and wouldn’t want to partake in till the time I fully comprehend it and till then I refuse to believe that another human or a ritual at that is essential to make me “whole” and complete my life.
But to all the newly married couples of Bollywood who got me thinking, to them I wish my best.