Messy life is nothing but today’s reality. And it’s not just because of other people’s decisions and actions against us. It’s also because of our own stupidity and recklessness that we make ourselves so vulnerable. We screw up. And many others too are continuously trying to put us down by their scornful jocularity and intimidation. People can be cruel, malicious and hurting which can cause us to feel pain, affliction and a need for seeking retaliation. But people ( including us ) need to be forgiven.
Refusal to repudiate and forgive becomes a be-all and end-all, that is, of ultimate importance, to such an extent that we let it enter and damage our lives. This refusal is clearly reflected in our language, attitude, and behavior with people. We start basking in this agony, subconsciously looking for only negativity in the entire well of emotions, which contain positivity as well. We start to feel that everyone in our lives is here to break our souls, even though there was just one person who hurt us. In this fright, we fail to comprehend that we are missing out on the opportunities of forming healthy relationships with the people around us. Research shows that by undergoing psychological and mental stress for a long period of time, you seem to feel that that mental pain has transmogrified into a kind of physical pain in the body. Mindful meditation will surely work wonders if you choose to forgive.
I agree that humans are incapable of forgiving someone so easily. However, there are certain things to remember while forgiving someone which may make forgiving easier:-
You don’t have to know how to do it ( you don’t even have to fully want to do it )
The statement ‘God watches only your intention, not presentation’ plays an important role in the teaching of forgiveness. Just an intention to forgive will eventually lead to the ultimate forgiveness. It may take a while, but it WILL happen.
You don’t have to forgive the thing they did- but forgive the reason they did.
Sometimes people lash out at and do nasty stuff to others because they themselves are in anguish. Forgive the ‘why’, if not ‘what’.
Forgive does not mean condoning
Forgiving someone does not, and will not, ever mean that what and why they did was okay. It doesn’t mean that you accept it, or you will allow it in future. It just means that you are kind and magnanimous to forgive someone for the wrong they did, instead of paving way for retaliation or revenge.
You don’t have to let that person back in your life
Forgiving someone does not mean that you are allowing that person to tear your soul apart and enter your life- AGAIN ! it only means you have no longer any place for rage or irateness towards them in your heart.
Forgiveness is one of the best things that you can gift yourself. It offers you the freedom, and the permission to move on. It allows you to enjoy each and every moment of your life, by forgetting and forgiving the past.
A shackle will finally be removed from your knees. However, it will take perseverance and dedication. As Gandhi once stated, “, The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.