What if Animals Could Speak Up?

What if animals could speak?

Why do I feel animals should talk?

The big clock of town strikes six and here I am, brisk walking and observing everything that has just started to glow with the dawn light. I saw a man carrying a bag of toast. A gang of dogs was following him, wagging their tails. This man seemed to be fearless of these stray animals.

Maintaining a distance from them, I looked at the dogs. They were looking vulnerable.He took out all the toast and started feeding them. This was the best act of kindness that I had ever seen so decided to do the same for them. Next morning I too brought some biscuits to give those dogs. I was too afraid to go near them that the dogs will assume me as their food instead, but the kind man was there to help me out. He took the packet from me, churned the biscuits and dropped at some places.

Stray dogs
Image Source: RSDP

Suddenly, two small puppies who were not even understanding that the thing lying in front of them is not a thing to play but food to eat. I wanted to pick them up and spoon fed them just as we do to a toddler but their mom was near and she may think we are trying to hurt them.

Even when the uncle told me that mother dog will not hurt me as I am not trying to harm her kids but that creature is an animal who does not understand my language.

Dog with puppies
Image Source: Occupy For Animals

I wish I could make her understand that her kids are cuter than the human babies. I just wanted to pick them up.!

So what if animals could really speak?

They might complain if you try to giving them names such as Tommy or Dumbells. There would be a list of most trending names for your pets. It will not be limited to just cats and dogs but it would include names for turtles, fishes, parrots, pigs, ducks, mice or other species you like to have as pets.

Some names that will always win animals choice awards:

  • Snowbell, Tigger, Garfield- Cats
  • Squirtle, Blastoise, Crush- Turtles
  • Nemo, Marlin, Dory-Fishes
  • Stuart, Jerry, Speedy Gonzales- Mice
  • Tweety, Gizmo, Blu- Birds
  • Spike, Scooby, Coco- Dogs

But are the animals going to speak English? Will there be schools for them to teach grammar rules?If there will be schools for them, I am very sure about who is going to be their teacher there.

Owl teacher
Image Source: Pinterest

The symbol of wisdom- OWL! History books feature owl as wise and noble creatures.

Can you imagine how they are going to speak up? No bow-bow or meow-meow or turr-turr…just as human as “Hi..! I am Marcel. These days I am sharing an apartment with Ross!”

ross' monkey
Image Source: The AV Club

What if they would have a different accent or the language changes with the region.?There might be dictionaries for all of them or a single device to translate any animal code to human code.

How it would be if your dog actually could speak the truth in front of your guest that how much you really disliked their visit and you won’t be able to cover up by saying “I think, my dog really likes you.”

New Dictionary:

An “ox” ford dictionary that would tell you what a word like Doggumentary means. This dictionary would have meanings like this:

For Animalia A well-arranged document to identify the region, age and breed of dogs, generally kept in the head office of Dogville.
For homo sapiens– Doggumentary is the eleventh studio album by American West Coast hip hop recording artist Snoop Dogg. It was released on March 29, 2011.


Film industry:

Best actor
Image Source: YouTube

They would have their own film industry where they will act, dance and speak just like our film stars. It is not hard to imagine them doing action seen without any extra support. After all, they live a much more adventurous life than us. Leopard will be the action king and Nightingale will be the soulful voice behind every hit song. The best actor would be the one who had the loudest roar and best actress would be the one who was able to rule the kingdom as well as her home.

Best Actress
Image Source: Pinterest

Hotel industry:

Our chefs will not mind having a little helping hand. The rats are among one of the oldest creatures alive on this earth and are gifted with a highly developed sense of smell and taste. We would see them as interns preparing sauces or cutting veggies like a pro. Don’t worry..! The education will provide them knowledge of all the hygiene rules and they won’t use their teeth to cut the veggies 😛

Rat Chef is the new masterchef
Image Source: NPR

How are the chickens going to react when they will come to know that they are the food for tonight?

Or fishes in our aquarium will ask us that are we going to eat them too? But these fishes will speak under water and we are going to pretend as we cannot hear the..aren’t we?

Ah..I don’t want to be in a debate of veg/non-veg but I am sure my non-vegetarian friends are going to find a strong reason so that chickens are ready to sacrifice their life for the human species. About fishes…could they really speak? No..no-one ever heard them.

Daisy's Donald cafe
Image Source: Cartoon Baotinforum.com

I wonder if they open up their own Macdonald as Daisy’s Donald or what they will serve in their KFC’s.

Laws and Judiciary:

Bears, monkeys, tigers, panther and lions shall not be trained or exhibited as performing animals: Kerala High Court.

Yes, animal labor will be as prohibited as child labor!

Pet animals will be fed by humans but what about wild animals.It will be a harmony in nature and lions would not be hunting for deer. The lion would have no right to kill deer just because it is feeling hungry.It will be against laws of deer association and he can be proved guilty for this. What will they do if they don’t have enough of food in Jungle? They might come to the city for some kind of job.

Monkey as BPO
Image Source: Monkeyphonecall

They will be willing to earn some money to buy food for themselves and family. Now if they can speak up, nobody will have an objection if they want to act in a film or give fastest deliveries of pizzas even during heavy traffic hours or work in a BPO. They will earn money and buy chicken or bacon whatever they want to.

Pizza cover
Image Source: Yelp

No racism:

One thing that I am very sure about is they will never limit their boundaries in the name of casteism. They will work altogether to bring the next evolution. The nature lovers understand that the color they possess is a gift of nature to them. Thus, a white feline beauty will not mind marrying off a black one.

White cat and black cat
Image Source: Funny N Wallpaper and EBSQ

What will they think when a black cat crosses their road? That will mean the cat is going somewhere.This is not going to bring any bad luck to them.
No more cages:

The bird in a cage will a rare sight then. Who will like a parrot that will tell everybody about how cruel you are to keep them in the cage. But why would you keep them in a cage if they become your friend and merely sings on your rooftop? They might knock your window to show you how beautiful a sunrise looks.

Bird on window
Image Source: Redbubble

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